Of Handbag Hounds and Frankenpuppies

Let me state this from the get-go:

I LOVE DOGS. ALL DOGS.

Well, little yappy dogs annoy me, but I wish them no harm.

I grew up with dogs. For as long as I can remember, my family always had a doggie companion. I would love to have a dog right now, but at this time in my life I can’t:

1. I can’t afford to keep a dog.

2. This isn’t my house. The people I live with might not want a dog in their home.

3. And even if they did, I’ll be in school and working. That wouldn’t be fair to anyone.

4. Who knows where I’ll be living a few years down the road? “No pets allowed” would break my heart. Let me be more settled before taking on such a responsibility.


So for now, I will lavish love and affection upon other people’s dogs.

Joshua

Jake

Roseblossom (AKA Moochie McBeggarson)

.

When I am in a position to seriously consider responsible dog ownership, I will go to the shelter and rescue a homeless doggie and prove to that lucky dog that not all humans are assholes.

Case in point: Designer Mutts

Recently, someone was advertising “LABRADOODLE” puppies for sale in the local newspaper.

Labradoodle = Labrador Retriever + Poodle.

Awww…. How cute. They’re fluffy and non-shedding and great for people with allergies!

OK… it happens sometimes. The neighbor’s dog gets out of the yard, a mystery litter is born, and there are varying degrees of shame and amusement involved before all is said and done.

It happens.

But, wait. These “Labradoodle” puppies in the paper were selling for $900.

NINE. HUNDRED. DOLLARS.

Labradoodle

I remember when they were called mutts… mongrels… Heinz 57… Sooners… And people were just giving ’em away!

Apparently, “Designer Mutts” are all the rage these days. Who’da thunk it, but all those stupid would-be heiresses carrying around Accessory Animals (or Handbag Hounds) aren’t the worst of our worries, after all.

Shelters everywhere are filled with mixed breeds just biding their time until euthenasia.

Meanwhile, people are INTENTIONALLY MASS-PRODUCING MORE MUTTS…. and selling them for large amounts of money to stupid people looking for another Fashionable Lifestyle Accessory?

::::: BREATHE IN…, BREATHE OUT…:::::

Shift gears….

Now, I know that purebred dog fanciers are serious about the genetic purity, but according to a CNN article about Designer Mutts

The labradoodle could be eligible for American Kennel Club recognition if there are at least 300 of them in at least 20 states with three documented generations of labradoodle to labradoodle mixing. A national breed club is also required.


So, people are lobbying for mutts to be recognized as an actual breed of their own.

I really look forward to watching the Westminster Dog Show and rooting for Bob’s Mangey Cur Crawled Under the Fence and Violated My Poodle in the Dubious DNA category.

Finally, legitimizing mixed breeds as entirely new breeds unto themselves could be a real problem, considering

….purebred advocates relish knowing what to expect from their pup since the reliability of doodle dogs’ looks is not 100 percent.

“The problem is the lack of predictability,” Lainie Cantrell, spokeswoman for the AKC, said of labradoodles and other popular mixed-breds. “That’s the whole point of a purebred dog and the benefit of a purebred dog is that you typically know what you’re going to get.”

I want to just throttle someone right now.

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For your disapproval, here are some other actual trendy cross-breeds:

SCHNOODLE (Schnauzer + Poodle)

GOLDENDOODLE (Golden Retriever + Poodle)

COCKAPOO (Cocker Spaniel + Poodle)

YORKIPOO (Yorkshire Terrier + Poodle)

DORGI (Dachshund + Corgi)

BAGEL (Bassett Hound + Beagle)


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5 Comments

Filed under consumerism, designer mutts, dog breeding, dogs, doodle dogs, goldendoodle, insanity, labradoodle, materialism, pets

5 responses to “Of Handbag Hounds and Frankenpuppies

  1. vandamonium

    My schnauzer just became the proud great grandfather of a litter of missdesigned mutts. They are a cross between a female schnauzer and a male rat terrier. They are just to cute.

  2. cclepew

    Are they schnerriers? Terrizers? 😀

  3. vandamonium

    The father is name Squid so we named them Squidenhauzers…..

  4. We just bought a Rat Terrier/Miniature Schnauzer mix…a female. Do you have any pics you can email of an older dog so we know what to expect. Or, perhaps you know of a website I can go to in order to look at Schnerriers…or as we prefer to call them…Rauzers.

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